Saturday, October 15, 2005

Are jews causing Bird Flu

Very humorous piece in Israel Insider :


A representative of a shadowy group calling itself the Chicken Liberation Organization has accused orthodox Jews of responsibility for the aviary flu...
Lurkey was apparently referring to the Kapparot ceremony, which takes place annually before the Jewish day of Yom Kippur. A bound chicken is spun around the head of each family member seven times. Trans-Species and vegetarian lobbyists have called the ceremony cruel and unusual. Jewish sources admitted it was unusual.
....Orthodox Jews are accused of drawing and quartering innocent birds, cutting off their heads and eviscerating their limbs and breasts. "We can trace a pattern of systematic abuses of our fine-feathered race. The Jews claim that chicken soup is 'The Jewish Penicillin' but who's paying the ultimate price for that? And who is protecting us? Do we boil, bake, and fry Jews and take credit for 'Chicken Penicillin'? It's hardly surprising that some of our martyrs lose their heads and fight back, not necessarily in that order."
Recently, there have been reports of the first revenge attacks against members of the Jewish faith, a game of "chicken" in which an Orthodox Jew is kicked, swung around and tossed for sport. Participants are invited compete to see who can throw him farthest. The "Jew toss" is accompanied by furious clucking, or perhaps curious flocking, by the roosters and hens, accompanied by sounds of moans and groans by the disgruntled Jew who flew. Ironically, the attack appears to have come from Israelis, based on the hebrew language instructions which accompany the "game."
Foxy Loxy, head of the Anti-Defenestration League, objected strenuously to the computer simulation and said that propelling Jews through space was a threat to all mankind, not less serious than the bird flu itself. "Today it's an innocent Jewish victim being tossed. Tomorrow someone else will be hurled. There is no stopping these terrorist birds. First they spun lies. Now they're spinning people."...
posted by Yeshiva Orthodoxy
at 7:48 PM

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